Becoming Calvin
by Kitty-Kat's Meow O.o
Summary: ocCaliformia's story.
1. Begining

**_I guess i kinda own this.._**

**_It's my OC's story_**

**_So yeah._**

* * *

><p>A lone lion made his way down from the mountaions and into the grassy valley it cradled, ears and whiskers twitching as large drops of dew fell upon him. A whimper sounded from below and the strong tail flicked, it wasn`t a sound of pain and it was different from any animal the lion had heard before.<p>

Curiously, but cautiously, he made his way into the clearing, stalling as he saw a mound of pink flesh wiggling in the grass like a ginormous worm. The creature had a small tuff of fur on it`s head somewhat similar to the cat`s fur in color, large green- maybe blue also- eyes, that led the lion to believe it to be a cub because nothing else would have such huge and wide eyes, but no claws or even teeth to defend itself.

The lion grumbled and turned away, he always avoided killing a cub when he could, but the thing wiggled closer.

The lion gave a startled yowl and whirled on the thing which now had his tail in its grasp. He hissed then grumbled in frustration as it giggled before tugging on the tail again.

The lion flicked it`s tail from its grasp and started to walk away, but the thing started to wail causing the cat`s ears to lie flat. "Ki-ee!" the thing sobbed and with a hiss the cat turned around, snatched up the child, and continued on his way. He would find this things herd and be done with it!

The lion growled, he had dropped the thi- no child- off with a herd of `humans`, but he continued to follow it. The humans had named it `Sunshine`, and apparently Sunshine was female.

No matter what, he couldn`t seem to leave the child, it was important for some reason. It was not natural for him to follow the girl, and even if he wasn`t normal for living as long as he had, he had never done something as such. And still the lion watched, as she grew to no longer wiggle, learned to speak, learned the chores of a female in a human herd. He grew frusturated as he learned that he couldn`t let her die, when she was in danger he`d roar, either scaring the threat away or callin the herd to help.

A time came when that did not work, however, she had been pulling a basket of fish from the river . It being the salmon`s breeding season the fish were plentiful, but a bear suddenly appeared. That would have been fine but a pair of cubs trailed the fish the cubs broke from their mother, the girl shrieked, in fear or anger he couldn`t tell, startling the cubs away but the mother was angered and charged the child.

It was like lightning and he was blinded from all else but protecting the child. Yowling, the lion launched himself at the bears back, claws digging into fur as his jaws snapped again and again to get a decent grip on its neck. The bear threw him off and slashed at his face, knowing that if she was hurt worse most likely her cubs would perish, her with them. He hissed and licked his paw before rubbing it on his bleeding face, muzzle still pulled into a snarl.

Then suddenly the child was there, cooin and clucking like a hen as she ripped her clothes to clean the blood.

He growled, but she giggled, obviously believing he wouldn`t hurt her if he just saved her and he hissed as he realized it was true. She gasped when the blood was clean, then the human shouts came and he disapeared from her sight once again.

She continued to catch glances of him from then on, talk occasionally when no other human was around, and, he growled again, insisted on calling him `One-eye` because of his injury. Still he watched, protecting her when humans failed, keeping her company as they outlived her herd mates time and time again, until finally she left them and headed south.

She was no longer Sunshine, but Goldweaver and now had a pet wolf named Blue that another everlasting human had given her when she traveled too far south. She lived with humans again, getting close to a boy called Goldenwing. The two looked remarkably alike, the only difference was Goldweaver`s longer hair. Goldenwing had a pet like Blue, this one was female named Berry.

One-eye growled, the four had been steadily making their way east and now they had run into desert, though his light colored fur kept him cooler then the dogs, his paws werent accustomed to such terrain. He swore the foxes were laughing at him. One-eye paused, putting a paw forward and his fur stood, like when they went too far south and ran into the other everlasting human, with a hiss he crossed the invisable barrier to follow the small group, irratably shaking his paws from the hot sand. A jackrabbit darted by and Goldenwing, Blue, and Berry chased after it, leaving Goldweaver and One-eye.

"One-eye, why do you like walking so far from us?" Goldweaver asked as she turned to the cat. He only hissed and puffed up, pawing the sand as his tail swished and ears twitched, the perfect picture of irritation.

"Do you not like the rest?" she persisted and he snorted but shook his head, he was a hunter that was a master of stealth being seen was not comfortable for him. Barking and shouting attracted their attention back to the others, a fox proudly held the rabbit in its mouth up in a dying tree, far from their reach.

"Grey! Did you catch something?" a male asked running up to the fox, who jumped down into his awaiting arms.

"Who are you? This is my territory." the male growled at them. One-eye hissed, but gladly took this opertunity to herd the group out of the desert and back into their territory, so his fur and paws could be at ease again.

They were at the beach, staring across the ocean when they saw these trees that had pointy clouds tied to them. It was amazing, there were people on them. They were curious, these people were different, their color and clothes nothing like the other humans they saw. Then they landed, and the people departed, they didn`t know how to live, and so they helped them. The light skins were kind, they wanted to share their knowledge.

Then one came that wasn`t exactly human, but was like Goldweaver and her companion Goldenwing. He was to take care of them, protect them, all they had to do was learn. It didn`t seem bad, they were learning so how could it be bad? They agreed, and the first thing they learned were their names. Jane and Anthony, they were `colonies` now, they were twins.

It was fun, until the light skins got their people sick. So many died, and the twins grew weak. The man, the `country`, gave the girl a cat as an apoligy. Jane was furious though, he had caused many of her people to die and he wanted to make it better by giving her a cat? The man squashed her rage, that wasn`t how colonies were suposed to behave after all, the countries were incharge. For the first time, Jane was scared, Blue was tied as was proper and One-eye could not come or else risk being killed, her brother Anthony had always been the weaker one the more timid one. He took the cat, and named it after his sister. The first letter of her name, `Jay`.

Then the man was gone, and those south had control. Until the ones east came, they wanted the territory. War broke out, and it terrified them, the largest fighting they`d seen were of two tribes clashing with eachother. Most were able to walk away, this time they died so easily, and the people that Jane and Anthony had claimed as their own died left and right. Eventually the east won, and they had new names. Cassandara and Calvin, they remained twins, as they always had, though they never knew the word for it.

Life was routine, simple even. It seemed like there was everything, farmers, trappers, even hermits lived well. Horses ran wild, some captured and used for work. They stayed in the middle, realishing the warmth that naturally came from the heart.

Blue and Berry had gone away, they had mated and Berry was to have puppies so she was denning. One-eye wasn`t pleased with how much the humans were changing his home so he retreated back to the moutains, only the cat remained, the reminder of that first fear. Though she had accepted, even love the moody fur ball, she didn`t enjoy the reminder, but her dear brother had named it so it would stay named as such.

Suddenly, a man found gold. He tried to keep it secret but it leaked and the whispers spread, soon people were rushing in. And the twin experianced another fear, what would happen if these other people over ran their own? But that fear was for naught, they didn`t overrun their people, but became their people also. Settling, and creating homes with families. Dreamers, always searching for gold.

She was sad though, they all came for the same reasons, but not everyone was treated the same. She didn`t understand the ranking order, she had seen some before but never so perminant. The lowers could always fight or do some task to become high, these were final. It seemed they would never raise.

They became a state, California. A state of gold and dreamers, the land of oppertunity. And they were happy, the weren`t bellow they were the same. They had even entered the union on their own terms, they wouldn`t be pushed around like that first time again. He was the north and she the south. Then production picked up and suddenly jobs were needed to be filled, she cut her hair then, and they looked like the same person. Mirror images, the others around them couldn`t tell the difference so they only knew of one who was named Cassandara but called Calvin.

Her brother came home hurt one day, and she was absolutely furious. She wouldn`t let him be until he told her who did it. When he did she waited, it wouldn`t due to go then, a rebuttle was expected. Later, as the world east was fighting itself, she moved. She attacked the one that hurt her brother, she attacked Florida. It was exciting, even fun that act of agression.

To have her sister at her feet, to show her strength. And it was so much better as this one hurt her brother, her twin, and essentually her world. She went back again and again until that one broke, why would one be friendly then turn around and do this? That break was beautiful, more magnificant then when that one was screaming, crying for her to stop.

That one was never the same again, neither told, it was a bond, a twisted one, but it was wonderful, an amazingly beautiful secret between them. And thats how it should be right, a secret between sisters? That one, keh, that one had gotten used to her treatment, expected it, and now needed it. That one always came back, sometimes frequently, like it was addicted and she was only too happy to help as a sister should..

She didn`t feel guilty, not when that one broke, not when that one became unstable because of her treatment, she never felt guilty. She never felt bad about what she did, she loved what she did, even if no one would know she had shown that nobody could hurt them and get away. He never knew, why that one was terrified of him, he never even saw the blood on her when she came home. She always washed, repeatedly, again and again until her skin was rubbed raw.

Then that one left, many left, they were sending out help to the easterners. He wanted to go, to help. She refused, and it was the first time he yelled. the first time he was angry and at her of all people.

"They are family! They may not be the same as us but they need our help!" his yell always echoed in her head. But she wouldn`t risk him, she wouldn`t let him be hurt. So she went, they were in trenches and they were horrid.

Someone she was talking to would die the very next second. The noise was loud, so horrible, terrfying. But in a way she was happy, because as long as she was here she knew he`d be safe at home. She had Blue with her, he was magnificent.

He was a hunter, he knew how to hide and not be seen until it was too late, his teeth were already ripping out an enemy`s throught, whether it was furred or not. He kept the rats away, so they wouldn`t eat their food or take bites of her. Then it was over, she didn`t know what happen it was jumbled and chaotic.

She didn`t care though because she was returning home to him and that was all that mattered, as the same with Blue he was returning to his Berry and pups. She washed obsesively before meeting him, trying to get rid of everything so he wouldn`t see. Wouldn`t worry. Wouldn`t veiw her any different.

They were together and they were happy. There was a boom, and it was amazing, exciting. She bought him everything she could, and he did the same for her. It was dream like, nothing could go wrong, even the war was chased away and life was simple again.

Then there was a crash, and so many were out of work. People were homeless and starving, children were sleeping in play grounds, parents on park benches. That was horrifying, but also beautiful, because it was a memory of before. When they ran with no limitations, and One-eye was always with them. They were together though, they could get through it..But then he got sick.

She was scared, frantic, my brother was in pain he was hurting and there was nothing i could do. Then there was the dust bowl and the easterners came west to california, there was gold there and it was the promise land. So we became the runaway state.

Oklahoma came first, the freakin Okies, then Texas, and Kansas. They came to our land, taking our land and jobs. We were furious, how dare they come to our home and take over, we who went to war for our home, who came with nothing to live a better life.

Of course we never really considered they were doing the same, we just wanted them out. They were not californian, they we okies, they did not belong here and we didnt want them here. Naturally we made things dificult for them, i`d even attack my brothers to get them out and away. Kansas was odd though, he took it when the others left or faught. Even when i branded him like cattle he stayed.

That bastard, i _loathed _him, but i needed him. My brother needed him, Kansas was older then me, calmer it made sense he would know what to do. Then the one, the only one west of us, the Island, was attacked and we were getting ready for war again.


	2. Flying

**_I guess i kinda own this.._**

**_It's my OC's story_**

**_So yeah._**

* * *

><p>That bastard, i <em>loathed <em>him, but i needed him. My brother needed him, Kansas was older then me, calmer it made sense he would know what to do. Then the one, the only one west of us, the Island, was attacked and we were getting ready for war again.

We were at the same area as the trenches, this time i was alone. I was flying, it exhilerating and terrifying, my very first time up i was laughing. I never thought it be possible for me to fly, and even as i was killing others, i enjoyed simply because there was the promise of flying, of going against some of the best pilots. I was high from adrenalin, it consumed me and i welcomed it.

Then we pulled out, we had won here and were headed to fight the one who'd hurt our Islander sibling- the odd volcano child. I was on the ground again and this time i didn't even have Blue at my side. I kept a mirror on me always, not to look at myself but to look through myself and at my brother.

I had nothing against them really, i wasn't particularily close to the volcano child, but i faught with no mercy because they were keeping me from my brother.

When they discused the bomb dropping, i agreed. Simply because i wanted this to be over with. I admired their will to fight, but i needed to go home to my brother. My people wanted to go home.

I got home, i was so excited. I had taken a stop on the way home to get him a gift, as an apoligy for leaving. I wasn't sorry though, not really when i protected him from those was worse now, and his health reflected on my mood.

Then it was the war, not like any we really faught before because there was no _real _fighting. I kept us to ourselves, tried to make sure he didn't know what was happening beyond our home. Our haven, our heart.

I failed, he heard word of the blockade and urged me to help them. We couldn't let them die like that, so i left to meet with the others to see what was to be done about the blockade on Berlin.

There was fear and distrust and suspision, so tangable. I kept quiet as they debated. They feared doing anything that might provoke an actual war to break out. In the end we went home with no solution, schedualed to meet again.

I avoided telling my brother of the meeting, i had failed him after all. I wasn't sure what could be done, i took Jay out with me. I set a wall up, her on one side and her favorite treat on the other. She could not go around it, nor through it, and under would take too long. She went over it, but i was puzzled, how would we go over a blockade?

I never would have figured it out had a child not been playing with an airplane, it flew over the wall. I was excited then, maybe i wouldn't fail my brother after all.

I proposed the idea the next meeting, some were unsure, but i did not care. I had found a way and i would do it with or without their help, i had told my brother and he was excited and hopeful. Failure was not an option, those who were for it set out imediantly with supplies, and with the help of the old one- the one with catipilar eye brows- we set about the airlift in berlin.

I would personally take at least a flight a day over, and when the candy bombers made their appearance i supported it whole heartedly. Eventually the blockade was removed and we returned home, i was proud. It was different from the other times i had returned home because this was _good_, i hadn't killed nor hurt anyone so i needn't worry about my brother finding out.

When i came back, it was in time to see him die.

He writhered on the bed, witholding screams. Blurring at the edges, becoming transparent in some parts before blinking out of existance. Berry followed after, and Blue howled. Mourning his mate, mourning for the both of us because i was frozen.

When i could move again i found a letter, he knew he was dying, and he knew why. He had planned to say farewell by a letter. He tried tell me goodbye on a peice of paper, he wouldn't say it person. I read through it, memerizing it, but only one phrase stood out for me;

_"..becuase you life is worth more to me then my own..."_

And then, i broke.


	3. Falling

**_I guess i kinda own this.._**

**_It's my OC's story_**

**_So yeah._**

* * *

><p>It wasn't enough for him to die, but for him to die for me? California was progressing, and one of us needed to step down for everything to go smoothly.<p>

_"..because your life is worth more to me then my own.."_

He gave his life so i could live, so i could become stronger. He wanted me to be happy, to no longer have a burden like him.

That stupid, idiotic, moronic boy! How could he think of himself as a burden! I _loved _him, he was my _everything. _And i would have given my life for him, it wasn't supposed to happen like that! We were supposed to be together always, he even said that it didn't matter what anyone else did because together we could take on the world.

I-i god..he left me, i was alone. I wasn't even sure who i was. Was i the girl named Cassandara but called Calvin? Or was i the boy Calvin named Casandara? I didn't know...I-i _don't _know.

I couldn't look at my reflection, it terrified and angered me, but i was drawn to it anyways, it was the only time i'd see him again.

I punched a mirror once, the glass shattered and my arm was cut in multiple places. I enjoyed it, i like the blood running from me. I relished the pain, it made me feel alive and it was a punishment. I was the reason he died, for his hurt, did i not deserve to hurt myself as i hurt him.

But i couldn't do that to mirrors, that was my window. My only place i could still see him again. So i cleaned myself, as i had when i came back from war or when i met with my sister. Rubbing obsesively until the skin worn away, sometimes i couldn't wait for nicessities as soap. When that happened i'd scratch myself until they bled.

I couldn't stay there in our heart, it was no longer our, just mine. I couldn't stay north, that was my brothers land, i went south. There was my very own 'sin city', i deemed it apropriate, i killed my brother was that not a sin? It was nicknamed Devil's Den, brother always said i was dramatic.

I got worse, i wouldn't eat, couldn't sleep without either seeing him dying or acusing me for killing him. There was a brief period where i was an addict, i wasn't even sure on what, i just knew i needed it. I stopped when i was hospitalized, i wouldn't shame my brother by continuing such things.

Kansas tried to help and i lit him on fire, broke his left arm and tossed him out of my land. It made me happy to hurt him, but it wasn't satisfying. Only selfinflicted violence could satisfy me.

I knew for sure because it was no longer satisfying to attack my sister, it gave me no more pleasure to hurt the one i broke, the one whom i had made accustom to that treatment. She found her brother though, and Delaware was helping her.

I broke bones, i would force myself to throw up after every meal. Nothing was as good as bleeding. Just watching it taint the sink, turning the water red. I loved my accelerated healing, it ment i could do it again sooner then i would if i was human. I painted a room for him with it, one wall had his tribal name 'Goldenwing', another had his colony name 'Anthony' another had his state name 'Calvin' and the final wall was 'Brother'.


	4. Crash landing

**_Almost!_**

* * *

><p>There was a time where i took a different aproach, i wasn`t sure what made me try it but i was glad i did. It made everything so much easier, i dipped a flat cheese grader in peroxide and then ran it across my skin.<p>

Watching flesh come away in perfect curls, pink from blood, the peroxide burned, but it was a welcomed burning, when the cuts started foaming because it was being cleansed.

I was hopeful, maybe i would be clean now. So i moved beyond the arms, to the legs and rising higher and higher to the goal. The neck, but that never happened.

My brother came, he wanted to talk of trade, and Arizona got the shock of his life to find me like that. I attacked him, it was my land i could do what i wanted while at home. He managed to get the grader though, i never bothered to buy another..

I was wondering, no destination and no real place to go back to. I ran into this boy, i`m not sure what he thought- didn`t really care either- of me, but i hated him instantly, as i hated crazy boy wanted to be my friend, i`ve no idea why but he did, i`m happy he did though.

I looked forward to when i saw him. He spoke until i was silent, and then until i replied. By that time i didn`t have much of an urge to cleanse myself, and i re-started eating properly.

When i told him what was wrong, it was only a half truth. I loved nature but it wouldn`t drive me to such an extream at its dimishing.I shouldn`t have lied to him, i should have told Richie the truth strait off.

He made all the difference, i had a home. It was in that same place where One-eye found me, and where he protected me. I found Jay then, she was with one-eye for some reason, then Blue returned with a pack.

Even though there is no south without a north, i remained.

I don`t think i`d have gotten better without Richie, i wasn`t alone thanks to him, i had an actual home. I was speaking to my siblings again.

I wasn`t fixed but i was mending. I cast my, i guess it could be called `maiden`, name aside and took up my brother`s. I was- am- violent when called Cassandara because i had taken Calvin`s name as a reminder.

Only two people knew there were two of us, and i refused to let him fade away to be forgotten so i took his name. So as long as i shall live, so shall his memory.

I fell for Richie. I was always afraid of quicksand, the feeling of sinking and nothing you can do, but i welcomed it this time. I wanted to love him, and i did- do.

I never want him sad, or upset.

I want to be someone he`s proud to know.

I want to be fixed for him.

I want him to never be dirtied, never to fall as i had.

I want him to fly like i did, but always remain soaring.

I want to protect him from anything that could hurt him, even though i know i cant.

I want him to be comfortable with me, for it to always stay as easy as breathing.

I gave him my heart, wether he noticed or not, and i didn`t need his in return, i was fine for things to  
>remain the same. So long as i was able to stay by his side. So long as i can stay with him, i`ll be fine.<p>

_I love you._


	5. Standing

I don't know why, but i needed to tell. It's not ment as a love story, nor to search for sympathy. It's just a release that i needed. It was time to tell my brother's story, and i couldn't do that without telling my own.

I want to tell my sister i'm sorry, you didn't deserve that. Neither did my brother, I'm sorry Kansas.

I want to thank Arizona, for stopping me when you did. If you hadn't, i would have fallen farther and possible have no chance at redemtion.

Finally, Richie- Henrich, just- _thank you_.

For any who've read this, you're free to ask questions and i'll try to answer them the best i can.

Signed,

California,

Calvin Cassandara Jones.


End file.
